I knew the ending time will come, I'm in peace with it. My heart is now holding the space for the sadness of loss, the gratefulness for so many beautiful things that happened, the joy of this woman who flowered.
There's something precious in these moments of letting go. Not clinging to the story, but witnessing what happens inside, I've come to see that I'm not saying good bye only to you, my love. It is also time to let go these two roles that I played as a woman until now, mostly without being aware of them.
Scheherazade, the woman who used her wisdom for 1001 nights, motivating the Shah to let her alive. Your story fed on my own love for story telling, for metaphors and tales. Thank you, dear Scheherazade, for awakening these gifts in me.
As for having a man deciding for my life, I leave this to you. It is your own story and I'm stepping out of it. I've learned that I'm a free human being and there's no need anymore to give my power to someone else. It took me more than 1001 nights to empower myself as a woman, so thank you for this important lesson.
Thank you talented, mysterious Scheherazade. Thank you and good bye!
Yashodhara, the woman who devoted her life to the man she loved, Prince Siddhartha, and who actively supported him in his quest for buddhahood. Even after Prince Siddhartha had to go, leaving her and their life together, to become Buddha.
No wonder I was supporting the men I loved until feeling like a squeezed orange. No more 'mystery' here about my good friendships once the love relationship is over.
But you know, my dear Yashodhara, you said it yourself in the end of your life... 'I am my own refuge.'
I honor your life, your devotion, your compassion and your love. I'm letting go to the 'beautiful wise loving woman who always understands and supports her man, who quietly accepts her suffering when the man has to leave her and who has to be supportive even after relationship is over'. It took me some years to be ready to renounce this role.
Thank you devoted, wise Yashodhara. Thank you and good bye!
Maybe it's the spring cleansing. Maybe it's my birthday getting quite close and the need to create fresh space for a re-birth. Maybe it's about humble honoring everything that brought me here and every one who traveled with me so far. Maybe it's one of those moments of 'What do I want to keep? What do I want to let go?' Or maybe is that my whole being is shifting along with this change, sign that the lesson is being indeed learned.
For sure, saying good bye to you as a lover brought at surface other things, other aspects, other patterns that it's time to say good bye to. Here I am, ending not just 'another relationship', but chapters of my life. Maybe turning this into a pattern breaking (r)evolution. Who knows?
So... my love, I'm renewing my wishes to you. Have amazing times, dance with what life offers you, love whole heartily, allow the blessings to flow to you, and be in that space of your heart where deep silence is and you can find God. As He is a good fellow :)
Thank you for everything that was possible through this meeting. Thank you and good bye!
Love,
Ram
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