How this Universe is answering

I'm in Cluj now. The reason? An NLP Practitioner and Coach group. In the lunch break, I talk with Anca, 'mirror-mirror on the wall'. And she's asking me, again, what do I want to receive for my birthday, as I keep on going round around the answer every time...

Well, I would love to swim, to have a sun bath, in the park maybe, and in the evening to enjoy a tea with dear souls at Satya.
So I say.

Well, I see. But what do you want to receive? Maybe you didn't understood the question...
So she says.

I'm laughing, she's laughing too, and I remember that I know for sure what I don't want to receive - things to decorate the house... anyway I'm moving from house to house, renting, and soon there's a new changing home, so... I say yes to beautiful experiences, no to 'dust-gathering' stuff. We hang up laughing. And I'm realizing that, in fact, I still haven't answered the question.

What do I want to receive for my birthday?

Here it is, starting to feel this energy wave rising inside, as I don't understand why is so hard to say it since this is what I want. So I pick up the phone and call again and say out loud:

Well this is what I'm saying to this Universe. I want Love. I want to experience love in my life, in everything I do. Including a relationship with a man.

That's it! I said it.

I came back from lunch and one of the wonderful beings from this group, gently comes to me and gives me a gift, as she knew it's going to be my birthday: a small, red, beautiful box. And inside of it... a little heart!

Should I say how thrilled I was receiving this necklace? Should I describe the sensation that Yes, this Universe was here and listened to my words? The warmth and openness in my heart? The gratefulness for the way I received an answer, so fast and so beautiful? The trust that Yes, I shall receive that love also in a relationship with a man?

Thank you Edani, angel with velvet eyes. Thank you dear big Universe!

Thanking that I am Love!

Love,
Ram

Cum răspunde Universul

Sunt la Cluj acum. Motivul? Un grup de Practician şi Coach NLP. În pauza de masă vorbesc la telefon cu Anca, oglindă-oglinjoară. Care mă întreabă, iar, ce îmi doresc să primesc de ziua mea. Şi eu mă tot învârt în jurul răspunsului de câte ori mă-ntreabă...

Păi mi-ar plăcea să înot, să stau la soare, în parc, iar seara să savurez un ceai cu oamenii dragi la Satya.
Zic eu.

Bine, bine, dar ce îţi doreşti să primeşti? Poate n-ai înţeles întrebarea...
Zice ea.

Şi râd eu, râde şi ea, îmi aduc aminte că ştiu sigur ce nu vreau să mai primesc - lucruri de decorat casa, că oricum mă mut din casă-n casă cu chirie, urmând cât de curând o nouă mutare... Aşa că experienţe minunate sunt binevenite, lucruri de adunat praf pe ele... parcă nu. Închid telefonul râzând. Şi-mi dau seama că, de fapt, n-am răspuns la întrebare.

Ce îmi doresc eu să primesc de ziua mea?

Şi urcă aşa un val de energie în mine, că nu pricep ce mă tot codesc atâta să spun, din moment ce asta îmi doresc. Aşa că iau telefonul, sun iar oglindă-oglinjoara şi declar tare şi răspicat:

Păi uite, zic Universului aşa. Îmi doresc Iubire. Îmi doresc să trăiesc iubirea în viaţa mea, în tot ceea ce fac. Inclusiv în relaţia cu un bărbat. 

Nah! Că am zis.

Mă întorc din pauza de masă şi iată că una din fiinţele minunate din acest grup de formare, vine delicat aşa, şi-mi dăruieşte un dar, că ştie ea că va fi ziua mea: o cutiuţă mică, roşie, drăguţă. Iar în cutiuţă... o inimioară!

Să mai spun emoţia pe care am simţit-o primind acest medalion? Să descriu senzaţia că Da, universul ăsta a fost aici şi m-a auzit când am declarat ce îmi doresc dar de ziua mea? Căldura şi deschiderea din inima mea? Recunoştinţa pentru felul în care am primit răspuns, atât de repede şi de frumos? Încrederea că Da, voi primi şi acea iubire în relaţia cu un bărbat?

Mulţumesc Edani, înger cu ochi de catifea. Mulţumesc Univers mare şi drag!

Mulţumesc că sunt Iubire!

Din inimă,
Ram

Good bye moment

To say 'Good bye' when there is still love between, when there is still flowing connection, when there's nothing to reproach to one another, when no one is 'wrong', when there is still longing for the peaceful 'puzzle' hug... That's a hard thing to do. Hard and beautiful the same.

I knew the ending time will come, I'm in peace with it. My heart is now holding the space for the sadness of loss, the gratefulness for so many beautiful things that happened, the joy of this woman who flowered.

There's something precious in these moments of letting go. Not clinging to the story, but witnessing what happens inside, I've come to see that I'm not saying good bye only to you, my love. It is also time to let go these two roles that I played as a woman until now, mostly without being aware of them.


Scheherazade, the woman who used her wisdom for 1001 nights, motivating the Shah to let her alive. Your story fed on my own love for story telling, for metaphors and tales. Thank you, dear Scheherazade, for awakening these gifts in me.
As for having a man deciding for my life, I leave this to you. It is your own story and I'm stepping out of it. I've learned that I'm a free human being and there's no need anymore to give my power to someone else. It took me more than 1001 nights to empower myself as a woman, so thank you for this important lesson.
Thank you talented, mysterious Scheherazade. Thank you and good bye!

Yashodhara, the woman who devoted her life to the man she loved, Prince Siddhartha, and who actively supported him in his quest for buddhahood. Even after Prince Siddhartha had to go, leaving her and their life together, to become Buddha.
No wonder I was supporting the men I loved until feeling like a squeezed orange. No more 'mystery' here about my good friendships once the love relationship is over.
But you know, my dear Yashodhara, you said it yourself in the end of your life... 'I am my own refuge.'
I honor your life, your devotion, your compassion and your love. I'm letting go to the 'beautiful wise loving woman who always understands and supports her man, who quietly accepts her suffering when the man has to leave her and who has to be supportive even after relationship is over'. It took me some years to be ready to renounce this role.
Thank you devoted, wise Yashodhara. Thank you and good bye!


Maybe it's the spring cleansing. Maybe it's my birthday getting quite close and the need to create fresh space for a re-birth. Maybe it's about humble honoring everything that brought me here and every one who traveled with me so far. Maybe it's one of those moments of 'What do I want to keep? What do I want to let go?' Or maybe is that my whole being is shifting along with this change, sign that the lesson is being indeed learned.

For sure, saying good bye to you as a lover brought at surface other things, other aspects, other patterns that it's time to say good bye to. Here I am, ending not just 'another relationship', but chapters of my life. Maybe turning this into a pattern breaking (r)evolution. Who knows?

So... my love, I'm renewing my wishes to you. Have amazing times, dance with what life offers you, love whole heartily, allow the blessings to flow to you, and be in that space of your heart where deep silence is and you can find God. As He is a good fellow :)

Thank you for everything that was possible through this meeting. Thank you and good bye!

Love,
Ram

Moment by moment

Today I was out in the park with the roller-blades. It was so soo good! Whenever I do this, I am in the present moment. It happens naturally. My body knows already that otherwise it hits the ground. Literally. So it is a very good exercise to be present. And here I am, smoothly rolling, when I notice that all the chattering that was there in my mind since waking up suddenly disappears. It makes no sense anymore. What am I complaining about, after all?

I connected again with my dear dear trees from the park. Last fall I watched them searing and losing their leafs, I watched them serenely letting a part of them to dye. I watched them giving up of what could not be alive for them anymore. And I heard no tree, not even one, complaining or crying or asking shouting to God But WHY?? In their silence, they allowed the nature to flow, to keep on going, to do its meaning.

And now I'm watching them again. Same trees as last year. Same silence. Same acceptance. This time, accepting life again, accepting the new, the fresh. Without complaining that it hurts them when the buds are sprouting. Or that is so hard to start all over again, and again, and again. Without saying that they better don't turn green, if anyway, when the fall comes, they will lose again what it grew out of their sap. Silently, life just goes on running through them.

And yet, from this silence there is so much wisdom springing. It is so that I'm connecting again with the silence within my being, with that source of wisdom where the 'famous' But WHY?? doesn't exist. I'm connecting with the green inside me, eager to sprout out into being, with life and with what I can create, with my roots on the ground and my crown towards the sky.

In this moment, if I stay in this Now moment, there's nothing missing from my life. In this Now moment there are only potentialities for how I can manifest, there are answers to the question What is possible for me Now? No trace of whining for what it would have been possible, if and only if... I know, it's a paradox, cause the mind comes in and slaps to my face all the bills to be paid. But it's not about this, it's about an inner state, about that State in which everything is possible, in which people make miracles with them selves and around them.

It was so good to let myself spoilt by the sun!

Moment by moment. This is the lesson I'm learning now.

Love,

Ram

 

Moment cu moment

Azi m-am dat cu rolele. Tare tare bine a mai fost. Când mă dau cu rolele sunt în prezent. Se întâmplă natural. Corpul ştie că altfel dă cu fundul de pământ. La propriu. Aşa că este un exerciţiu bun pentru mine ca să fiu în prezent. Şi alunecând eu aşa lin pe role, am observat că toată vorbăreala din mintea mea dintr-o dată dispare. Nu mai are niciun rost. Care e motivul pentru care să mă plâng, până la urmă?

M-am conectat iar cu dragii mei copaci din parc. Toamna trecută i-am văzut cum se usucă şi-şi pierd frunzele, i-am văzut cum lasă senini ca o parte din ei să moară. I-am văzut cum renunţă la ce nu mai poate fi viu pentru ei. N-am auzit niciunul plângâdu-se ori văicărindu-se ori întrebând urlând din toţi rărunchii Da' DE CE?? În tăcerea lor acolo, au lăsat natura să curgă, să meargă mai departe, să-şi facă treaba.

Şi mă uit la ei acum. Aceeaşi copaci de anul trecut. Aceeaşi tăcere. Aceeaşi acceptare. De data asta, acceptă viaţa iar, acceptă noul, acceptă proaspătul. Fără să se plângă că doare când mugurii pleznesc. Ori că e greu să o ia, iar şi iar, de la început. Că mai bine nu mai înverzesc, dacă la toamnă o să piardă iar ce-au lăsat să crească din seva lor. În tăcere, viaţa curge în continuare prin ei.

Şi totuşi, din tăcerea asta a lor curge atâta înţelepciune. Şi uite aşa mă conectez iar cu tăcerea din mine, cu sursa aceea de înţelepciune unde Da' DE CEul nu există. Mă conectez cu verdele ce stă să pleznească din mine întru fiinţare, cu viaţa şi cu ceea ce pot să creez, cu rădăcinile în pământ şi cu coroana către cer.

În momentul ăsta, dacă rămân în momentul ăsta de Acum, nu lipseşte nimic din viaţa mea. În momentul ăsta Acum, sunt doar potenţialităţi pentru cum mă pot manifesta, sunt răspunsuri la întrebarea Ce este posibil pentru mine Acum? Nici urmă de plângăreli pentru ce ar fi fost posibil, dacă şi numai dacă... Ştiu, e paradoxal, că vine mintea şi-mi trânteşte-n faţă facturile de plătit. Dar e vorba despre o stare în interior, despre Starea aceea în care orice este posibil, în care oamenii fac minuni cu ei, în ei, în jurul lor.

Ce bine a fost să mă las răsfăţată de soare!

Moment cu moment. Asta-i lecţia de o-nvăţ acum.

Din inimă,
Ram

The long distance from my life

Since quite some time now I'm experiencing long distance relationships. I was fine with it, I was angry with it, I knew longing, joy and pain too, I experienced rebellion, despair and moments of deep surrendering, I made friends with sadness and tenderness, with happiness, gentleness, with carrying and comforting, with detachment and awareness, with tears, with laughter, and most of all, with the inner silence, with my heart... I changed, I grew... and I have come to who I am now.

Long distance relationships showed me things that wouldn't have been possible for me to see otherwise. It mirrored parts of my own that were deep hiding inside and so, a lot of things opened to healing and were healed.

Being in long distance relationships definitely shaped my way of relating, cause fantasies, projections, doesn't really work when is no one around but yourself... It taught me to return to what is now here, to what is real in this moment. It taught me to come back to myself and take responsibility for what I feel, for my emotions, for my feelings.

It gave me the freedom of having my own space of action, of moving, of deciding for myself. It gave me enough space to see my patterns, my habits, my wounds and sore points, my likes and longings, my qualities and my gifts.

And, of course, it gave me the nice comfort of not being 100% involved. The perfect escape to not be 100% present.

Was I ok with this? Of course. Otherwise, I would have changed it...

Until yesterday.When, with a few hours before my flight, in a moment of sensitivity, tension, vulnerability, openness, sadness and love too, I felt how precious that moment was. It held in it the potentiality for going deeper, for giving space to something precious to grow out of it, IF staying with it, going deeper with it, if being present. One of those moments when a bridge can happen, a bridge between the depths of two hearts.

But that moment didn't happened, because I had a flight to catch.

Instead, it turned into a moment when I felt the constriction, the limitation of a long distance relationship. A moment when I didn't want to escape, but to stay and see where it can lead. The moment when I felt, really felt in my body, what being present means and all the possibilities it opens.

So I came home. And, for the first time, it just roused inside me the thought

'I'm tired of long distance relationships!'

And then silence. Sleep. A new day. Today.

When instead of facilitating the Family Constellation workshop, I ended up talking with Răzvan and Anca, good good friends and mirrors for my soul, about how I'm organizing my work. It was Anca's question 'What is your relationship with money?' that made it so clear to me... Long distance relationship!!!

It's not only about love partner, I was also in a long distance relationship with money and with work. Because every time something beautiful could develop on a long time, I went away. That was the mega-pattern of my life. I love the man in my life, yet there's a distance between us. I love the people I'm working with, I love my work, and I behave like I'm in a long distance relationship.

It is not about the geographical distance. Living in different neighborhoods for me was just enough to meet him once a month...

It is not the traveling that bothers me. In fact, this is a part I love and brings me adventure.

It is about the fact that the distance between two individuals is the distance they put between themselves.

It is the heart to heart distance that I'm tired of. It is my heart longing to be open, to love, to continue flowering.

The distance present in my life is present because I put it there. It taught me a great deal of good things, it brought me here, and also, the time came when I could see what I'm keeping myself away from: deep, sustained intimacy. Where sustained is the key word.

With the man I love now, I opened and I let myself flower as a woman. Because I opened, it was space for past issues to be healed. Relating was flowing, without attachments or building life dreams. I remained true to myself, honoring his presence too. I grew towards love and freedom, towards myself. And, the most important and precious to me, I created space in my life so that love, work and meditation can be together. Perhaps it is even this spaciousness that allowed me to clearly see what I'm missing and where in my life I am still missing.

It is not about changing man or changing work. Of course not, that would create even more distance, and distance is what I created enough in this life. It is not about being together day by day, every day. I really appreciate time and space for myself. This is the surface structure. And I admit, I changed this surface structure few times...

The deeper structure is the shift that happened inside me with all the possibilities it opened for me. It is the aliveness that I have inside reaching out to spring and connect with what is alive outside. It is the permission I give myself to go deeper instead of escaping.

It is the availability to be present and allow sustained intimacy, sustained work to be not just something once in a while, but a way of living.

It is the space that I created through taking the responsibility of being present.

Love,
Ram

















Distanţa din viaţa mea

De câţiva ani experimentez relaţii la distanţă. Am fost bine cu asta, am fost furioasă, am cunoscut doruri, bucurie şi durere de asemenea, am experimentat revolta, disperarea şi momente de abandon, de 'facă-se voia Ta', m-am împrietenit cu tristeţea şi tandreţea, cu fericirea, gingăşia, cu grija şi alinarea, cu detaşarea şi conştientizarea, cu lacrimile, cu râsul, şi mai ales cu tăcerea mea interioară, cu inima mea... M-am schimbat, am crescut... şi am ajuns să fiu femeia de acum.

Relaţiile la distanţă mi-au arătat lucruri pe care altfel nu aş fi putut să le văd. Mi-au oglindit părţi din mine care erau adânc ascunse şi, astfel, multe s-au deschis către a fi vindecate şi chiar s-au vindecat.

Să fiu în relaţii la distanţă cu siguranţă că mi-a definit modul de relaţionare. Fanteziile, proiecţiile, nu prea funcţionează când nu e nimeni în jur în afară de tine... M-a învăţat să mă întorc mereu la ce este acum aici, la ce este real în acest moment. M-a învăţat să mă întorc la mine şi să-mi asum responsabilitatea pentru ceea ce simt, pentru emoţiile mele, pentru sentimentele mele.

Mi-a dat libertatea de a avea spaţiul meu în care să acţionez, să mă mişc, să decid pentru mine. Mi-a dat destul spaţiu să-mi observ tiparele, obiceiurile, rănile şi locurile dureroase, să aflu ce îmi place şi ce mă face să tânjesc, să-mi descopăr calităţile şi darurile.

Şi, bineînţeles, mi-a dat confortul de a nu mă implica 100%. Evitarea perfectă de a nu fi 100% prezentă.

Am fost ok cu asta? Desigur. Altfel, aş fi schimbat ceva...

Până ieri. Când, cu câteva ore înainte să plec către aeroport, într-un moment de sensibilitate, tensiune, vulnerabilitate, deschidere, tristeţe şi iubire, am simţit cât de preţios era acel moment. Conţinea în el potenţialul de a merge mai profund, de a da spaţiu ca ceva preţios să crească din el, dacă am fi stat în acel moment, am fi mers mai profund cu el, dacă am fi rămas prezenţi în el. Unul din momentele în care un pod poate apărea, un pod între adâncimile a două inimi.

Dar acel moment nu s-a întâmplat, pentru că aveam un avion de prins.

În schimb, s-a transformat într-un moment în care am simţit constrângerea, limitarea unei relaţii la distanţă. Un moment în care n-am mai vrut să evadez, ci am vrut să stau şi să mă las ghidată de acest moment, să aflu unde mă poate conduce. Momentul în care am simţit, cu adevărat am simţit în corp, ce înseamnă să fii prezent şi câte posibilităţi se pot deschide astfel.

Aşa că am venit acasă. Şi, pentru prima dată a ieşit din mine gândul

'M-am săturat de relaţii la distanţă!'

Şi apoi linişte. Somn. O nouă zi. Astăzi.

Când, în loc de Constelaţia Familiei, am ajuns să stau de vorbă cu Răzvan şi Anca, buni prieteni şi oglinzi pentru sufletul meu, despre cum îmi organizez activitatea. Şi a venit întrebarea Ancăi 'Ce fel de relaţie ai tu cu banii?' care m-a ajutat să-mi fie atât de clar... Relaţie la distanţă!!!

Nu e vorba numai despre iubit, am fost într-o relaţie la distanţă şi cu banii şi cu munca mea. Pentru că, de fiecare dată când ceva frumos s-ar fi putut dezvolta pe termen lung, am plecat. Acesta a fost mega-tiparul vieţii mele. Iubesc bărbatul din viaţa mea, dar totuşi este distanţă între noi. Iubesc oamenii cu care lucrez, îmi iubesc munca, şi totuşi mă port ca şi cum aş fi într-o relaţie la distanţă.

Nu e vorba despre distanţa geografică. Să locuim în cartiere diferite a fost de ajuns pentru mine astfel încât să ne întâlnim o dată pe lună...

Nu mă deranjează călătoriile. De fapt, asta e o parte care-mi place şi care îmi aduce aventură.

Este vorba despre faptul că distanţa dintre doi oameni este distanţa pe care o aşează între ei.

Este distanţa de la inimă la inimă cea pe care am avut-o destul în viaţa asta. Este dorinţa inimii mele să fie deschisă, să iubească, să înflorească în continuare.

Distanţa care a fost prezentă în viaţa mea a fost prezentă pentru că eu am aşezat-o acolo. M-a învăţat multe lucruri bune pentru mine, m-a adus aici, şi, de asemenea, a venit momentul în care am putut să văd de ce anume mă ţin la distanţă: intimitate profundă şi susţinută. Unde susţinută este cuvântul cheie.

Cu bărbatul pe care îl iubesc acum, m-am deschis şi am înflorit ca femeie. Pentru că m-am deschis, a fost spaţiu astfel încât situaţii din trecut s-au putut vindeca. Relaţionarea dintre noi a fost curgătoare, fără ataşamente ori vise de viaţă. Am rămas autentică faţă de mine, onorând în acelaşi timp prezenţa lui. Am crescut către iubire şi libertate, către mine. Şi, cel mai important şi preţios pentru mine, am creat spaţiu ca în viaţa mea să poată exista în acelaşi timp iubire, muncă şi meditaţie. Poate că tocmai această spaţialitate a făcut posibil să văd clar ce îmi lipseşte şi unde în viaţa mea încă mai lipsesc eu.

Nu este despre a schimba bărbatul sau munca. Bineînţeles că nu, asta ar crea mai multă distanţă, şi distanţa este ceva ce am creat destul până acum. Nu este despre a fi împreună zi de zi, chiar apreciez să am timp şi spaţiu pentru mine. Asta este cumva structura de suprafaţă. Şi, recunosc, am schimbat de câteva ori suprafaţa...

Structura de profunzime este schimbarea care s-a petrecut în interior, cu toate posibilităţile pe care le-a deschis. Este viaţa pe care o am în mine şi care vrea să ţâşnească afară să se conecteze cu altceva ce este viu. Este permisiunea pe care mi-o dau să merg mai profund în loc să evadez.

Este disponibilitatea de a fi prezentă şi de a permite ca intimitatea menţinută, munca menţinută să devină un mod de viaţă.

Este spaţiul pe care l-am creat prin asumarea responsabilităţii de a fi prezentă. 

Din inimă,
Ram

The mad asylum. Life.

Witnessing my insides.

Swearing like a trouper.
Wildly dancing.
Silently meditating.
Loving.
Ah! Loving again!!!
Gently smiling.
Lightly shining.
Graciously being.
Crazy jumping.
Laughter. Loud! From the center of my being.
Shouting.
Singing.
Whispering.
Tears.
A part that wants to throw itself in the world, to taste the adventurous Life, to carefree be, to flow and enjoy!
The noisy question 'Where is your place? Where?'
The peaceful answer 'Here.'
A part that feels responsible and take on too much responsibility.
A detached part.
A voice asking frighten 'Where's the control? You lost control!!! No control freak anymore???'
A radiating silent face.
A jumping curious mind.
A heart that contains it all.
Love. Pure love.
Melting with existence. With everything. Everything that is inside.

All these I'm contemplating inside me, existing all in the same time.
Just like in a mad asylum.
Just like in life.
I'm free.
I love you Life :))

Love,
Ram

Azilul de nebuni. Viaţa.

Privesc înăuntrul meu.

Înjurături ca de birjar.
Dans sălbatic.
Meditând în tăcere.
Iubind.
Ah! Iubind iar!!!
Zâmbind cu blândeţe.
Luminând subtil.
Fiind cu graţie.
Sărind nebuneşte.
Râs. În hohote. Din centrul fiinţei mele.
Ţipând.
Cântând.
Şoptind.
Lacrimi.
O parte care vrea să se arunce în mijlocul lumii, să guste viaţa aventuroasă, să fie fără griji, să curgă şi să savureze!
Zgomotoasa întrebare 'Unde este locul tău? Unde?'
Răspunsul plin de pace 'Aici.'
O parte care se simte responsabilă şi care preia prea multe responsabilităţi.
O parte detaşată.
O voce întrebând speriată 'Unde este controlul? Ai pierdut controlul!!! Adică nu mai eşti bolnavă de control???'
O faţă radiând tăcere.
O minte ţopăind curioasă.
O inimă ce le conţine pe toate.
Iubire. Iubire pură.
Topindu-mă în existenţă. În tot. În tot ce este înăuntru.

Toate astea le contemplu în interiorul meu, fiind toate în acelaşi timp.
Exact ca-ntr-un azil de nebuni.
Exact ca în viaţă.
Sunt liberă.
Te iubesc Viaţă :))

Din inimă,
Ram

Great times, grateful woman

For the first time in this life I am enjoying the experience of love, work and meditation all together, in the same time.

It used to be that when I was in love my energy went only to the man I loved and into the relationship. Time was flying away while I was lost in dreaming, in searching for ways to make him feel good, to keep us happy, to make it work. So there was not so much energy for work and far too less energy for meditation.

Then there were times when I was so focused on my work, on the activity I was doing, on finding 'my thing', 'my path', that the relationship just faded away, it slowly and surely disappeared, having no time or energy left for it.

Moving between love and work like between two extremes of my life, I was often feeling I'm loosing myself in the process, may that be love or work. And to find myself again I was withdrawing in meditation. Leaving relationship, leaving work and using meditation as escape.

And then this shift happen within myself.

I realized meditation is not an escape, it is simply the soul's hygiene. Just like brushing my teeth and showering every day is to the physical body, so is meditation for the soul. It just can't be without, otherwise things get stinky...

Moving towards relating and work from the space of meditation, love and work has gained the quality of presence. Being present, I'm not feeling that I lose myself neither in work, neither in loving someone. Being present, relationship turns into relating and there's no need to do something, for relating simply flows. Work happens moment by moment in the space of Now.

By being present, all parts of life are included, as being present happens no matter if it's love, work or meditation.

And what comes out of my mind now is this quote from Nithya Shanti:

“The beggar is concerned about the next meal. The street merchant is concerned about his daily earnings. The wage earner lives a month at a time. The manager plans for the quarter. The CEO for the next few years. The President considers the next five years. The Futurist contemplates the coming decades. And the care of a sage is rooted in the now and still penetrates all eternity.”

Love,
Ram

When acceptance is, what is there to hide?

In the past relationships I longed to have intimacy. And yet, it didn't happened as total as I'm experiencing it now.

I felt intimacy was a space we shared from the beginning, and every time we meet, we go deeper into this, into genuine meeting and togetherness. What makes it possible is the sincerity and the openness we both come with... No masks, no hidings. Acceptance from both sides. Respect for each other's feelings, emotions, way of thinking, way of being.

To be with your beloved with naked soul, not only with naked body. This is intimacy for me.

But first I had to learn to undress my soul of labels and judgments. First I had to accept myself as I am. Being gentle and loving with myself, no matter what.

First I had to open my heart and embrace all fears, pains, resistances... Discovering through receiving them in this space of my heart, that in fact, nothing is repulsive, nothing is unacceptable. And there is nothing in my being, absolutely nothing that can not be loved and accepted.

And when acceptance is, what is there to hide? 

I am happy and relaxed with myself as woman now. Beauty shines from inside, it has nothing to do with make ups. Sensuality is an energy, it doesn't really count if my stomach is ballooned :)) nor matters the cellulite... The way body smells and tastes comes from the happiness inside, not from perfumes or body moisture.

I've come to know myself, to feel my energy and to respect it. I know when I want to do something and when is ok for me to stop. I can just be as I am and this gives me the freedom to enjoy myself and others.

My heart loves. I feel Alive. And I'm grateful for this.

Love,
Ram

Când acceptarea e, ce mai rămâne de ascuns?

În relaţiile trecute am tânjit să trăiesc intimitate. Şi totuşi, nu s-a întâmplat atât de total cum experimentez acum.

Intimitatea a fost un spaţiu pe care am simţit de la început că-l împărtăşim. Şi, de fiecare dată când ne întâlnim, simt că mergem mai profund în a fi împreună, în această intimitate creată. Ce face ca asta să fie posibil este sinceritatea şi deschiderea cu care amândoi venim. Fără măşti, fără să (ne) ascundem. Acceptare din ambele părţi. Respect pentru sentimentele fiecăruia, pentru emoţii, felul de a gândi, de a fi.

Să fii cu persoana iubită, având sufletul dezbrăcat, nu doar corpul. Asta este intimitatea pentru mine.

Am avut mai întâi de învăţat să-mi dezbrac sufletul de etichete şi judecăţi. Să mă accept aşa cum sunt. Să fiu blândă şi iubitoare cu mine, indiferent de ceea ce se întâmplă.

Mai întâi a trebuit să-mi deschid inima şi să îmbrăţişez toate fricile, durerile, rezistenţele... Descoperind că, primindu-le în inimă, de fapt nimic nu e respingător, nimic nu e de neacceptat. Şi că nu este nimic în fiinţa mea, absolut nimic, care să nu poată fi iubit şi acceptat.

Iar când acceptarea e, ce mai rămâne de ascuns?

Acum sunt fericită şi relaxată cu mine ca femeie. Frumuseţea străluceşte din interior, nu are de-a face cu machiajul. Senzualitatea este o energie, nu prea ţine cont dacă am stomacul umflat :)) şi nici măcar de celulită... Mirosul corpului este dat de fericirea din interior, nu de parfum ori cremă de corp.

Am ajuns să mă cunosc, să-mi simt energia şi să o respect. Ştiu când îmi doresc să fac ceva şi când este bine pentru mine să nu fac. Pot să fiu exact aşa cum sunt, iar asta îmi dă libertatea de a mă bucura de mine şi de ceilalţi.

Inima mea iubeşte. Mă simt Vie. Şi sunt recunoscătoare pentru asta.

Din inimă,
Ram

What does 'everything' mean?

Mind is excluding, heart is including...

With these words on the background of my mind, I remembered something that I wrote a while ago:

When you say to your lover 'You are everything to me' bear in mind that it means she/he is the joy in your heart, the smile on your face AND the pain in your ass...

This came while thinking about what 'everything' really means… Because I believe that when you say 'everything' it doesn’t mean 'everything except…' but it includes all the aspects – sweetness and bitterness the same.

I don’t believe in perfectly happy relationships where everything should always be ‘sweet’. After all, sweetness brings sensations of nurturing, caring, caressing and consolation, love and protection, but too much sweetness leads to stagnation, indolence and idleness.

And though bitterness might be associated with pain and suffering, the ‘bitterness of life’, it also has the quality of helping one to detach of its strong emotions (like anger, pride, grimness, revolt…) and to look at the situation in a new, detached, neutral way.

So everything is here with a purpose and we can learn from everything, if remaining open to it. Awareness is what makes the difference.

Love,
Ram

Ce înseamnă 'totul'?

Mintea exclude, inima include...

Cu aceste cuvinte plutindu-mi prin minte, mi-am amintit ceva ce am scris cu o vreme în urmă:

Când îi spui iubitului/iubitei 'Tu eşti totul pentru mine' ţine seama că asta înseamnă că el/ea îţi este bucuria din inimă, zâmbetul de pe faţă dar ŞI durerea din fund...

Iar asta a venit în timp ce mă gândeam la ce înseamnă cu adevărat 'totul'... Pentru că eu cred că atunci când spui 'totul' nu înseamnă 'totul cu excepţia...' ci include toate aspectele - dulce şi amar la fel.

Nu cred în relaţii perfecte în care trebuie să fie tot o fericire şi numai 'dulce'. Până la urmă, dulcele aduce senzaţia de hrănire, grijă, mângâiere şi consolare, iubire şi protecţie, dar prea mult dulce provoacă stagnare, indolenţă şi lene.

Şi, deşi amarul poate fi asociat uşor cu durere şi suferinţă, cu 'amărăciunea vieţii', are şi calitatea de a te ajuta să te detaşezi de emoţii puternice (ca furie, mândrie, asprime, revoltă... ) şi să priveşti situaţia într-un mod nou, neutru, detaşat.

Aşa că tot ce este aici are un sens şi putem învăţa de la orice, dacă rămânem deschişi către. Gradul de conştienţă este cel care face diferenţa...

Din inimă,
Ram

Until we are no more

In this life
I am nothing but a wave.
Rising... falling...
Until I'm one with the Ocean.
Until I'm nothing but the Ocean.
Until I am no more.

In this Now
I am a wave
You are the Ocean.
Until I'll be your Ocean.
And you will be my wave.
Until we are at same.
Until we are no more.

Love,

Ram

Things I learned from the men I loved

I would be tempted to say that in relationships I learned to love. But this is not quite true… Love was in my heart all the time, it just needed space to grow and manifest.

With every relationship I learned about what I want, I discovered about myself, about being a woman, about the dynamics between woman and man. And so much more…

I learned that play and laughter are like spices for a couple's life. That you can say a lot about a couple if they laugh together.

I learned to control my body in such a way that not even a muscle was moving or reacting. Now I'm learning that, with the right touch, my body can play amazing symphonies.

I've learned to listen to my body, to pay attention to the physical symptoms, to understand them and therefore let the healing happen.

Nothing good can come out of pushing. Man needs freedom. He cannot be a man otherwise.

I've learned that I can posses nothing and no one... Until I knew this, I knew great pain... But after, I knew great happiness...

Love needs space to grow in a man's heart... and that space name is Freedom.

Woman’s heart is an endless space... and that space name is Love.

When I drop the idea of being right, man is not wrong anymore.

Mind knows through grabbing, heart knows through surrendering.

If I don’t respect my needs, my values, myself, man can not respect them either.

Every time I feel I don’t have enough space is because I give up my space and disregard the healthy boundaries of being.

When I say ‘Yes’ just to please him, in fact I’m saying ‘No’ to myself. A strong, congruent ‘No’ is better than a weak ‘Yes’ and until you can say a total ‘No’, you can’t say a total ‘Yes’ either.

When there is love flowing freely, there’s no technique needed.

As strange as it might sounds, I learned that man is man and woman is woman. They are different. And it’s good that way. Since then, I stopped competing with man and togetherness became possible.

To keep it clear, three things are vital: communication, communication and, of course, communication!

Nothing is for granted. Change is always present.

Planning for the next 10 years might become a burden too hard to carry. Enjoying each day instead, might actually make those 10 years become a possible exciting journey.

Punishing the man who’s now in my life doesn’t heal the past. Forgiveness and acceptance does. Through forgiving and accepting the past, I love who I am now. So loving the man becomes possible too.

Woman cannot totally relax when being with man if she’s not relaxed with her and her femininity. No matter if it’s emotional, mental, physical or sexual relaxation. And when relaxation comes, many things can flower. Including yourself :)

Man doesn’t want to sleep with his (beer) budy. He wants to sleep next to a woman. This means feminine, softness, gentleness, sweetness, tenderness…

Even what you love most can become a prison, if you get attached to it.

No forcing is necessary when it clicks. If it clicks, it clicks. Effortlessly.  

Touching with awareness heals. So does love and acceptance.

Sometimes you speak calm, sometimes you shout, sometimes you are just silent. It doesn't matter which one it is, if you do it with love.

I am responsible for my heart. He is responsible for his heart. This is how we have space to meet.

Togetherness and aloneness are like breathing in and out. It can't be one without the other.

Nothing is to be taken personally. Not even love.

........

This is one post that I can just go on writing. But I'll stop here, for now. Stop writing of course, not learning... Cause learning continues each day, each moment.

Love,
Ram