I taught her that the most important resources are the ones inside her and it's about those resources that no one can take them away from her and they can't finish either.
To let no one telling her what she isn't and what she can't do, or to accept labels coming from her teachers frustrations and limitations. To have courage telling the truth in any situation, because otherwise, through lying is like she is canceling herself and she's giving her power to the one she's lying to.
To know that she is much more than what her colleagues, her teachers, her grandparents, her neighbors and other adults are able to see. To know that people see the world as they are, not as the world is, that we perceive in others what we can see, hear, feel in a certain moment, yet this doesn't mean that what we see, hear, feel is everything.
I'm watching her now. She's already traveling alone, she can handle in new places, she decides what she wants to do, she makes her own schedule, she recognizes the emotional manipulation of those adults who probably forgot that education means to support the child in finding out what are his/hers talents and use them.
And of course she is applying with me the same principles she learned, by the way, from me... So what if I want to spend the weekend together, out of the city, to relax, to enjoy the sun, to tell stories? She has other plans. With her friends.
Leaving me, I admit, a bit frustrated and without 'the object of my attention'. Talking to myself... Do you mean we're not going to spend these days together? Well, yes, I was thinking we are... So, now what? Take some time Ramona dear and find other meaning to these days that you wanted to spend with your daughter, which actually grown up to be a teen with her own plans...
So you think it's easy? Well, think again...
Love,
Ram
Mama de adolescenta... ditamai provocarea!
Nu stiu cat de multe am invatat-o eu pe Bia mea pana acum, dar cu siguranta am tinut sa invete sa fie independenta. Sa decida ea pentru ea, sa fie constienta de ceea ce simte, de ce ii spune corpul ei.
Am invatat-o ca intotdeauna resursele ei cele mai importante sunt in interior si sunt acele resurse pe care nu i le poate lua nimeni si nici nu se pot termina.
Sa nu lase pe nimeni sa-i spuna ce nu e si ce nu poate, ori sa accepte etichete puse din frustrarile si limitarile doamnelor si domnilor profesori... Sa aibe curaj sa spuna adevarul in orice situatie, pentru ca altfel, mintind, se anuleaza ea pe ea si isi da puterea celui pe care il minte.
Sa stie ca ea este mai mult decat pot vedea acum colegii, profesorii, bunicii, vecinii si alti adulti care, de altfel, au propriile lor perceptii. Sa stie ca oamenii vad lumea asa cum sunt ei, ca percepem in ceilalti ceea ce noi putem vedea, auzi, simti intr-un moment dat, dar ca asta nu inseamna ca vedem, auzim, simtim tot.
Ma uit la ea acum. Calatoreste singura, se descurca in locuri noi, decide ce vrea sa faca, isi face singura programul, isi da seama de manipularile emotionale ale adultilor care au uitat probabil ca a educa inseamna a sprijini copilul sa descopere ceea ce ii place si sa si faca acel lucru.
Si bineinteles ca imi aplica si mie aceleasi principii pe care le-a invatat, de altfel, de la mine... Ce daca eu imi doresc sa petrecem weekendul impreuna in afara Bucurestiului, sa ne relaxam, sa stam la soare, sa povestim? Ea are alte planuri. Cu prietenii ei.
Lasandu-ma, recunosc, usor frustrata si fara 'obiectul muncii'. Stand de vorba eu cu mine... Adica nu petrecem impreuna? Pai eu asa ma gandisem... Bun, si acum ce? Stai Ramona draga si cauta sa dai alt sens zilelor pe care doreai sa le petreci cu copila ta, adolescenta cu planuri personale de pe-acuma...
Zici ca-i usor? Mai gandeste-te...
Din inima,
Ram
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