Cosmic play

There are moments when the only certitude is... the incertitude.When I feel that nothing that used to be valid exist and nothing new is yet formed. As if I'd be in a transition space, where what was is no more and what could be is not yet.

There are moments when I feel is not me who's living this life, but rather life is living me. Moments when I just observe. I observe everything that happens in my life, inside me, around me, inside others, in between.

There are moments when I feel like a sphere. A sphere where a whole Universe is being in an infinity of ways, all in the same time. And in this sphere, I am like a Queen.

I know that everything that is here follows my intention. I know that everything here is created by me. I don't yet realize how this is functioning, watching from here, from the outside, to all this scene with the sphere and the queen...

I don't yet realize what is the secret, how come that all exists in the same time, all from the Queen's intention.

What secret? The Queen smiles and opens her arms, only to reveal another whole Universe forming, continuously moving, continuously being born inside her heart, gate to beyond her, gate to infinity.

It looks exactly as a fractal, I observe myself catching a thought.

There are moments, just like this one now, when I feel I am the Queen. And the sphere is my life. Moments when I see somehow that everything is created through my intention, from an inner game. I realize how everything inside this sphere which is my life is created through my decision. I hold the responsibility, as I'm the Queen, ain't I?

And I'm asking myself if perhaps God is the same. Having his sphere where he decides, chooses, intends, watches, observes, playing of everything, all at once. Knowing that, after all, he holds the responsibility for his creation.

I wonder what would happen if God and the Queen would turn one to another and would look eye to eye, heart to heart, perfectly aligned one facing the other?

I'm watching curious what is happening, while they get closer, they turn to each other, they align them selves face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart... they reach out their hands to touch and...

It broke.

It was just a Mirror...

And Now... Now is silence. Silence and... Nothing.

As I would have watched a cosmic play on the Universe's scene.

Who is the Queen? Who is God?

Who is the Mirror?

I'm smiling...

Love,
Ram

Joc cosmic

Sunt momente in care singura certitudine este… incertitudinea. In care simt ca nimic din ce era valabil nu mai exista si inca nu e nimic nou format. Ca si cum as fi intr-un spatiu de tranzitie, iar ce a fost nu mai este si inca nu e altceva nou.

Sunt momente in care simt ca nu eu traiesc viata asta, ci ea ma traieste pe mine. Momente in care observ. Observ tot ce se petrece in viata mea, in mine, in jur, in ceilalti, intre noi.

Sunt momente in care ma simt ca o sfera. O sfera in care un intreg univers fiinteaza intr-o infinitate de feluri, toate in acelasi timp. Iar in sfera aceasta, sunt ca o Regina.

Stiu ca tot ce este aici imi urmeaza intentia. Stiu ca tot ce este aici, e creat de mine. Inca nu imi dau seama foarte bine cum functioneaza, de aici de pe margine de unde privesc toata scena asta cu sfera si cu regina…

Inca nu imi dau seama care este secretul, cum de toate exista in acelasi timp, toate din intentia Reginei.

Care secret? Zambeste Regina si isi deschide bratele doar pentru a dezvalui un alt intreg univers in formare, continuu miscandu-se, continuu nascandu-se in inima ei, poarta catre dincolo de ea, poarta catre infinit.

Arata exact ca un fractal, ma observ surprinzand un gand.

Sunt momente, ca acesta de acum, in care ma simt Regina. Iar sfera este viata mea. Momente in care surprind cumva, cum totul este creat din intentia mea, dintr-un joc interior. Realizez cum tot ce este in aceasta sfera de e viata mea este creat prin decizia mea. Responsabilitatea e la mine. Doar sunt Regina.

Si ma intreb, daca nu cumva Dumnezeu e si el la fel. Cu sfera lui in care decide, alege, intentioneaza, urmareste, observa, se joaca de-a diversele, toate in acelasi timp. Stiind ca, pana la urma, responsabilitatea pentru ce creeaza e a lui.

Oare ce s-ar intampla daca Regina si Dumnezeu s-ar intoarce unul catre celalalt si s-ar privi ochi in ochi, inima in inima, perfect aliniati unul in fata celuilalt?

Urmaresc curioasa ce se intampla, pe masura ce ei se apropie, se intorc unul catre celalalt, se aliniaza fata in fata, ochi in ochi, inima in inima… intind mainile sa se atinga si…

S-a spart.

Era doar o Oglinda…

Iar Acum… Acum e liniste. Liniste si… Nimic.

Ca si cum as fi privit o piesa de teatru cosmic pe scena Universului.

Cine-i Regina? Cine-i Dumnezeu?

Cine-i Oglinda?

Zambesc…

Din inima,
Ram

The gifts of dating

Being in a relationship used to mean for me that I have to do something, to give some input/effort to make it work.

Until I felt it's time to change this way of relating and I said 'Let's date. No more relationship. For me, now it's time to date.'

So I am. Dating that is. And here's what I'm practicing since 6 months of dating:

being in the moment
breathing (like a lot of it, deep and conscious)
keeping awareness alive
loving and flowering
womanness
being alert and relaxed in the same time
softness and gentleness
always coming back to myself
going deeper into myself
having fun and adventure
saying Yes
love and freedom
being crazy and centered in the same time (that's kind of acrobacy)
remaining present, knowing that is nothing but a dream of monkeys
listening
being generous and happy instead of being right (Iihuu!)
giving and receiving (with emphasis on receiving, cause that was almost impossible for me)
smiling instead of advising (coming from a 'save the world' woman... that's big)
futureless love (this is a new concept)
being cool with coming contradictions (beginner's level, cause I still need to understand... for few minutes, and then I let it be)
allowing
taking it nice and easy
seeing things with new and new eyes (which causes spontaneous laughing, 'out of the blue')

As long as I learn and grow from this dating experience, I guess it's a good one for me. It took away the heaviness of a 'serious relationship' and it brought me lightness, unpredictable, relaxation and authenticity in ongoing relating.

Does this means love is not here? Not at all, my dear, not at all...

Love,
Ram

I choose Love

More and more often I choose to love. Where other times I would have judged, I would have commented, I would have raised my eyebrow in a question mark, now I choose to love.

Instead of seeing defects in other people, I choose to love them. Instead of blaming, I choose to love.

Instead of giving advices to friends, I choose to love them. I know now they don’t need advices. They’re doing just great :)

Yesterday I received an email that in my past would have been a reason for me to find at least one thousand different ways in which I would have proceeded and, of course, one thousand of critics. Instead of that, I chose to love. And to laugh. Pealing. With tears of laughter. I laughed with someone else and I laughed all by myself. Better said, it was not me who started to laugh, it was laughter that started me. And it kept me for a few hours. I know now it wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn't for love. Without love, it wouldn’t have been possible to not judge, to not criticize. I instantly chose to love, as if other choice didn’t even exist.

And this was possible because, one day, a while ago, when I was in the middle of one of my biggest lost from this life, I chose to love myself. I chose Love.

And, ever since, it's like a play: when I choose Love, Love chooses me back. Every time. With no exceptions.

Love,
Ram

Aleg Iubirea

Din ce in ce mai des aleg sa iubesc. Acolo unde alta data as fi judecat, as fi comentat, as fi ridicat din spranceana intrebator, acum aleg sa iubesc.

Pe acei oameni carora le-as fi vazut defecte, acum aleg sa ii iubesc. In loc sa impart vinovatii, aleg sa iubesc.

Aleg sa iubesc prietenii aflati in situatii in care as fi dat sfaturi. Stiu acum ca n-au nevoie de sfaturi. Se descurca ei de minune :)

Ieri am primit un mesaj al carui continut m-ar fi aruncat alta data in a gasi cel putin o mie de moduri diferite in care eu as fi facut si cel putin o mie de critici. Am ales in schimb sa iubesc. Si sa rad. In hohote. Cu lacrimi. Am ras impreuna cu, am ras si singura. Cateva ore. Practic, nu eu am inceput sa rad, mai degraba rasul m-a inceput pe mine si m-a cuprins cu o pofta nebuna. Stiu acum ca nu ar fi fost posibil, fara sa iubesc. Fara sa iubesc, nu ar fi fost posibil sa nu judec, sa nu critic. Am ales instantaneu sa iubesc, ca si cand alta alegere nici macar nu ar fi existat.

Iar asta a fost posibil pentru ca, la un moment dat, traind una din cele mai mari pierderi din viata asta, am ales sa ma iubesc. Am ales Iubirea.

Si, de atunci, e ca un joc: cand eu aleg Iubirea, Iubirea ma alege inapoi. De fiecare data. Fara exceptie.

Din inima,
Ram

As it is

Your eyes have met my eyes
Now they can't see otherwise

I've learned to be a woman
Now I can't be otherwise

I've opened this heart and let love in
Now it can't feel otherwise

My heart has touched your heart
Now they can't live otherwise

Everything is as it is
As now it can't be otherwise.

Love,
Ram