Things I learned from the men I loved

I would be tempted to say that in relationships I learned to love. But this is not quite true… Love was in my heart all the time, it just needed space to grow and manifest.

With every relationship I learned about what I want, I discovered about myself, about being a woman, about the dynamics between woman and man. And so much more…

I learned that play and laughter are like spices for a couple's life. That you can say a lot about a couple if they laugh together.

I learned to control my body in such a way that not even a muscle was moving or reacting. Now I'm learning that, with the right touch, my body can play amazing symphonies.

I've learned to listen to my body, to pay attention to the physical symptoms, to understand them and therefore let the healing happen.

Nothing good can come out of pushing. Man needs freedom. He cannot be a man otherwise.

I've learned that I can posses nothing and no one... Until I knew this, I knew great pain... But after, I knew great happiness...

Love needs space to grow in a man's heart... and that space name is Freedom.

Woman’s heart is an endless space... and that space name is Love.

When I drop the idea of being right, man is not wrong anymore.

Mind knows through grabbing, heart knows through surrendering.

If I don’t respect my needs, my values, myself, man can not respect them either.

Every time I feel I don’t have enough space is because I give up my space and disregard the healthy boundaries of being.

When I say ‘Yes’ just to please him, in fact I’m saying ‘No’ to myself. A strong, congruent ‘No’ is better than a weak ‘Yes’ and until you can say a total ‘No’, you can’t say a total ‘Yes’ either.

When there is love flowing freely, there’s no technique needed.

As strange as it might sounds, I learned that man is man and woman is woman. They are different. And it’s good that way. Since then, I stopped competing with man and togetherness became possible.

To keep it clear, three things are vital: communication, communication and, of course, communication!

Nothing is for granted. Change is always present.

Planning for the next 10 years might become a burden too hard to carry. Enjoying each day instead, might actually make those 10 years become a possible exciting journey.

Punishing the man who’s now in my life doesn’t heal the past. Forgiveness and acceptance does. Through forgiving and accepting the past, I love who I am now. So loving the man becomes possible too.

Woman cannot totally relax when being with man if she’s not relaxed with her and her femininity. No matter if it’s emotional, mental, physical or sexual relaxation. And when relaxation comes, many things can flower. Including yourself :)

Man doesn’t want to sleep with his (beer) budy. He wants to sleep next to a woman. This means feminine, softness, gentleness, sweetness, tenderness…

Even what you love most can become a prison, if you get attached to it.

No forcing is necessary when it clicks. If it clicks, it clicks. Effortlessly.  

Touching with awareness heals. So does love and acceptance.

Sometimes you speak calm, sometimes you shout, sometimes you are just silent. It doesn't matter which one it is, if you do it with love.

I am responsible for my heart. He is responsible for his heart. This is how we have space to meet.

Togetherness and aloneness are like breathing in and out. It can't be one without the other.

Nothing is to be taken personally. Not even love.

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This is one post that I can just go on writing. But I'll stop here, for now. Stop writing of course, not learning... Cause learning continues each day, each moment.

Love,
Ram