Butterflies are good omens

I am listening to this man I love. He's talking about his work, with enthusiasm and curiosity and desire to make things function better, with love for people, with creativity and craziness and presence and flow... especially presence and flow... He's talking about the very good results he's having, about the CEO being happy and content, appreciating his work.

Yet, he wants something else. Sometimes a thought is coming to my mind... "You're so good in what you're doing, why not just doing it?" Then again, I understand that no matter how good you are in what you're doing, if there's still a calling inside for something else, you're not living your purpose yet, your heart has not found its desire.

I remember this one day, a Monday, I was in the subway going to the office job I had back then. At that time I was already having NLP weekends as the second job. The weekend before this one Monday, I just had my first NLP workshop, not as assistant in NLP Practitioner groups which I was doing since quite some months, but as co-trainer with a colleague. It was a Saturday workshop where only 4 people came :) and yet, I was not disappointed and I had that workshop with the same energy and enthusiasm as if they were 20 people in that room. At the end of the day, people told me they were impressed we haven't canceled the day and they felt they received, each, something precious from that day.
While going to office that Monday I opened a book. And first thing I read was this question:

"What do you love to do so much that, instead of being paid, you would even pay to do it?"

And I cried there, in the subway, knowing that I just found my 'thing'. The money from the 4 people didn't covered all the expenses, and yet I was so happy, so peaceful, so fulfilled and grateful... It was a confirmation that my work in this life is with people.

Since then, years have passed and the form of my work might have changed, took different shapes, went more deeper to connection from soul to soul. I don't know what future lays ahead of me. I don't know what or when changes might come again. But I still feel the silence, the peace within when I work with people, for their wholeness, to my wholeness as well.

I know I'm a small puzzle piece in a bigger image and when time came for me to move on, I did. So how could I not understand him when wanting something else, when wanting to leave the safe place and go into unknown, try the new? I remember how many times did I jumped into unknown... letting safeness behind and just jumping... Without knowing what is there waiting for me, and still taking the jump just because I felt I must! And what I can say now, is that I learned that what matters is not necessary What am I doing, but to do it whole heartedly.

If I jump into unknown, then I have to jump with full trust. If I choose to step on 'safe ground', then again I have to step trustfully. I see this coming along with maturity. Not jumping because wanting to escape from, but because it is the way in this present moment. Jumping being aware of the jump and the consequences that might come, and still jump trustfully. Not stepping on 'safe grounds' because fear of change, but because it is the way in this present moment. Being aware of the action as well of the fact I will face consequences of my own action.

There's a saying of Osho... If you don't know where your heart is, just jump, and in this jumping your heart will start beating so fast, there's not going to be any problem in finding it. I must admit this saying got me with some big nasty bruises until I got its meaning :))

Sometimes jump is the way. Other times just wait and be still is the way. Sometimes I was so blinded by omens that I did not saw what was really happening. And sometimes I totally ignored the omens because I wanted to 'create that reality'.

Each moment enfolds its own way. And I think flowing is about taking each moment as it is, with its own way. I used to feel I don't have enough time to do everything so I rushed in, stupidly, many times.

Now I know there's a time for everything... Just be willing and open for everything coming your way, trusting that it comes in the precise form you need it, in this precise moment you need it.

In the end, everything is so simple, that the complicated mind cannot but remained puzzled and amazed in front of this simplicity of life.

Love,
Ram