Freedom comes from Love

I lived an important part of my life believing that love and freedom cannot go together. I ended up relationships where there was still love in my heart, because I wanted to be free again. I was so strongly believing that I cannot have freedom when I experience love within a couple and that I cannot love when I live my freedom, because for me to live both love and freedom in the same time was not possible. So I ran away from deep, profound love and intimacy, fearing that I could lose my freedom.

Sometimes I was blessed enough to touch a kind of intimacy but when I got there I was so not ready for it and it was so much, so… overwhelming, that either I ran away, either he ran away, not knowing how to deal with something this deep, this vast, as intimacy.

Part of the journey might be about learning how to get to intimacy, but for sure the secret of happiness for me it is about learning to accept intimacy and just be with it, not doing something, but taste it, breath it… The problem is that for the mind it can be so easily confused with losing one self that it might become too scary. And in one way it is - because there's no mind anymore, no ego, no sense of self… there comes the Being, the one's true nature.

Until the day I've felt inside my being that Freedom comes from Love. It is not Love that wants to grab, to hold, to keep or to tie down. When this happens, it is Fear in action, not Love. Love can exist and grow only in a space of allowance, of letting be.

Both Love and Freedom are intrinsic states and therefore cannot be lost. Both are inner states and do not come from outer sources. And once you find them inside, where the real source is, you simply can’t lose them anymore.

So I discovered there is freedom to be myself as well as freedom to give my partner the space he needs to be himself. I discovered that the more I take the freedom to be myself, the more natural is for me that the partner also can be free to manifest himself just as he is.

I discovered there is freedom to say Yes and freedom to say No. Freedom to accept Yes and freedom to accept No.

Freedom to love and show myself as I am, with both light and shadow, with strength and vulnerability as well, with moments of beauty and ugliness also, with innocence and wisdom, with anger as well as love, with my aloneness and withdrawals within myself and also with the openness and expansion towards others…

Freedom to love and accept the partner as he is, with both light and shadow, with strength and vulnerability as well, with moments of beauty and ugliness also, with innocence and wisdom, with anger as well as love, with aloneness and withdrawals within himself and also with the openness and expansion towards others…

Then each has a space to grow, being alone and, in the same time, together. Then intimacy can happen. Then intimacy has a space to be there, between two individuals, between a man and a woman.

And all these can happen only when you come to love yourself. Until that moment, there's not so much of a freedom, isn't it? 

Love,
Ram

Libertatea vine din Iubire

Am trait o mare parte din viata crezand ca iubirea si libertatea nu pot fi impreuna. Am terminat relatii in care inca simteam iubire in inima mea, doar pentru ca am vrut sa fiu libera iar. Am crezut atat de tare ca nu pot avea libertate intr-o relatie si ca nu pot sa iubesc cand sunt libera, pur si simplu pentru ca, pentru mine, sa traiesc in acelasi timp si iubire si libertate nu era posibil. Asa ca am fugit de intimitate si iubire profunda, de frica sa nu cumva sa-mi pierd libertatea.

Cateodata am fost destul de binecuvantata sa traiesc un soi de intimitate, dar cand am ajuns in acel moment, eram atat de nepregatita pentru asta si era atat de mult, atat de... coplesitor, incat fie am fugit eu, fie a fugit el, nestiind cum sa fim in fata a ceva atat de adanc, atat de vast, ca intimitatea.

Poate ca parte din calatorie este despre a invata cum sa ajungi la intimitate, dar cu siguranta secretul fericirii pentru mine este sa invat sa accept intimitatea si doar sa fiu, fara sa fac nimic, decat sa o gust, sa o respir... Problema este ca, pentru minte, poate fi foarte usor confundat cu a te pierde pe tine si poate deveni infricosator. Si intr-un fel chiar asa este - pentru ca mintea nu mai este, nici egoul... in intimitate apare a Fi, adevarata natura a fiintei.

Pana in ziua in care am simtit in interiorul meu ca Libertatea vine din Iubire. Nu Iubirea este cea care vrea sa apuce, sa tina, sa pastreze sau sa lege. Cand se intampla asta, este Frica in actiune, nu Iubirea. Iubirea poate exista si creste doar intr-un spatiu de a permite, de a lasa sa fie.

Iubirea si Libertatea sunt stari intrinsece si, prin urmare, nu pot fi pierdute. Ambele sunt stari interioare si nu vin din surse exterioare. Iar odata ce le-ai gasit inauntru, unde este adevarata sursa, pur si simplu nu le mai poti pierde.

Asa am descoperit ca am libertatea de a fi eu insami ca si libertatea de a-i da partenerului spatiul de care are nevoie sa fie el insusi. Am descoperit ca, pe masura ce imi dau libertatea de a fi eu insami, cu atat mai natural imi pare ca si partenerul sa fie liber sa se manifeste asa cum e.

Am gasit libertatea de a spune Da si libertatea de a spune Nu. Libertatea de a accepta Da si libertatea de accepta Nu.

Libertatea de a ma iubi si a ma arata asa cum sunt, cu lumina si intuneric, cu forta si vulnerabilitate de asemenea, cu momente de frumusete dar si de uratenie, cu inocenta si intelepciune, cu furie ca si cu iubire, cu singuratatea mea si cu momentele de retragere si de asemenea cu deschiderea si expansiunea catre ceilalti...

Libertatea de a iubi si accepta partenerul asa cum este, cu lumina si intuneric, cu forta si vulnerabilitate de asemenea, cu momente de frumusete dar si de uratenie, cu inocenta si intelepciune, cu furie ca si cu iubire, cu singuratatea lui si cu momentele de retragere si de asemenea cu deschiderea si expansiunea catre ceilalti...

Astfel, fiecare are spatiu sa creasca, fiind singuri si, in acelasi timp, impreuna. Astfel, intimitatea se poate intampla. Astfel, intimitatea are spatiu sa fie acolo, intre doi indivizi, intre un barbat si o femeie.

Si toate acestea se pot intampla numai cand ajungi sa te iubesti pe tine. Pana in acel moment, nu prea e cine stie ce libertate, nu-i asa?  

Din inima,
Ram