I'm in Cluj now. The reason? An NLP Practitioner and Coach group. In the lunch break, I talk with Anca, 'mirror-mirror on the wall'. And she's asking me, again, what do I want to receive for my birthday, as I keep on going round around the answer every time...
Well, I would love to swim, to have a sun bath, in the park maybe, and in the evening to enjoy a tea with dear souls at Satya.
So I say.
Well, I see. But what do you want to receive? Maybe you didn't understood the question...
So she says.
I'm laughing, she's laughing too, and I remember that I know for sure what I don't want to receive - things to decorate the house... anyway I'm moving from house to house, renting, and soon there's a new changing home, so... I say yes to beautiful experiences, no to 'dust-gathering' stuff. We hang up laughing. And I'm realizing that, in fact, I still haven't answered the question.
What do I want to receive for my birthday?
Here it is, starting to feel this energy wave rising inside, as I don't understand why is so hard to say it since this is what I want. So I pick up the phone and call again and say out loud:
Well this is what I'm saying to this Universe. I want Love. I want to experience love in my life, in everything I do. Including a relationship with a man.
That's it! I said it.
I came back from lunch and one of the wonderful beings from this group, gently comes to me and gives me a gift, as she knew it's going to be my birthday: a small, red, beautiful box. And inside of it... a little heart!
Should I say how thrilled I was receiving this necklace? Should I describe the sensation that Yes, this Universe was here and listened to my words? The warmth and openness in my heart? The gratefulness for the way I received an answer, so fast and so beautiful? The trust that Yes, I shall receive that love also in a relationship with a man?
Thank you Edani, angel with velvet eyes. Thank you dear big Universe!
Thanking that I am Love!
Love,
Ram
Cum răspunde Universul
Sunt la Cluj acum. Motivul? Un grup de Practician şi Coach NLP. În pauza de masă vorbesc la telefon cu Anca, oglindă-oglinjoară. Care mă întreabă, iar, ce îmi doresc să primesc de ziua mea. Şi eu mă tot învârt în jurul răspunsului de câte ori mă-ntreabă...
Păi mi-ar plăcea să înot, să stau la soare, în parc, iar seara să savurez un ceai cu oamenii dragi la Satya.
Zic eu.
Bine, bine, dar ce îţi doreşti să primeşti? Poate n-ai înţeles întrebarea...
Zice ea.
Şi râd eu, râde şi ea, îmi aduc aminte că ştiu sigur ce nu vreau să mai primesc - lucruri de decorat casa, că oricum mă mut din casă-n casă cu chirie, urmând cât de curând o nouă mutare... Aşa că experienţe minunate sunt binevenite, lucruri de adunat praf pe ele... parcă nu. Închid telefonul râzând. Şi-mi dau seama că, de fapt, n-am răspuns la întrebare.
Ce îmi doresc eu să primesc de ziua mea?
Şi urcă aşa un val de energie în mine, că nu pricep ce mă tot codesc atâta să spun, din moment ce asta îmi doresc. Aşa că iau telefonul, sun iar oglindă-oglinjoara şi declar tare şi răspicat:
Păi uite, zic Universului aşa. Îmi doresc Iubire. Îmi doresc să trăiesc iubirea în viaţa mea, în tot ceea ce fac. Inclusiv în relaţia cu un bărbat.
Nah! Că am zis.
Mă întorc din pauza de masă şi iată că una din fiinţele minunate din acest grup de formare, vine delicat aşa, şi-mi dăruieşte un dar, că ştie ea că va fi ziua mea: o cutiuţă mică, roşie, drăguţă. Iar în cutiuţă... o inimioară!
Să mai spun emoţia pe care am simţit-o primind acest medalion? Să descriu senzaţia că Da, universul ăsta a fost aici şi m-a auzit când am declarat ce îmi doresc dar de ziua mea? Căldura şi deschiderea din inima mea? Recunoştinţa pentru felul în care am primit răspuns, atât de repede şi de frumos? Încrederea că Da, voi primi şi acea iubire în relaţia cu un bărbat?
Mulţumesc Edani, înger cu ochi de catifea. Mulţumesc Univers mare şi drag!
Mulţumesc că sunt Iubire!
Din inimă,
Ram
Sunday, 28 March 2010
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Good bye moment
To say 'Good bye' when there is still love between, when there is still flowing connection, when there's nothing to reproach to one another, when no one is 'wrong', when there is still longing for the peaceful 'puzzle' hug... That's a hard thing to do. Hard and beautiful the same.
I knew the ending time will come, I'm in peace with it. My heart is now holding the space for the sadness of loss, the gratefulness for so many beautiful things that happened, the joy of this woman who flowered.
There's something precious in these moments of letting go. Not clinging to the story, but witnessing what happens inside, I've come to see that I'm not saying good bye only to you, my love. It is also time to let go these two roles that I played as a woman until now, mostly without being aware of them.
Scheherazade, the woman who used her wisdom for 1001 nights, motivating the Shah to let her alive. Your story fed on my own love for story telling, for metaphors and tales. Thank you, dear Scheherazade, for awakening these gifts in me.
As for having a man deciding for my life, I leave this to you. It is your own story and I'm stepping out of it. I've learned that I'm a free human being and there's no need anymore to give my power to someone else. It took me more than 1001 nights to empower myself as a woman, so thank you for this important lesson.
Thank you talented, mysterious Scheherazade. Thank you and good bye!
Yashodhara, the woman who devoted her life to the man she loved, Prince Siddhartha, and who actively supported him in his quest for buddhahood. Even after Prince Siddhartha had to go, leaving her and their life together, to become Buddha.
No wonder I was supporting the men I loved until feeling like a squeezed orange. No more 'mystery' here about my good friendships once the love relationship is over.
But you know, my dear Yashodhara, you said it yourself in the end of your life... 'I am my own refuge.'
I honor your life, your devotion, your compassion and your love. I'm letting go to the 'beautiful wise loving woman who always understands and supports her man, who quietly accepts her suffering when the man has to leave her and who has to be supportive even after relationship is over'. It took me some years to be ready to renounce this role.
Thank you devoted, wise Yashodhara. Thank you and good bye!
Maybe it's the spring cleansing. Maybe it's my birthday getting quite close and the need to create fresh space for a re-birth. Maybe it's about humble honoring everything that brought me here and every one who traveled with me so far. Maybe it's one of those moments of 'What do I want to keep? What do I want to let go?' Or maybe is that my whole being is shifting along with this change, sign that the lesson is being indeed learned.
For sure, saying good bye to you as a lover brought at surface other things, other aspects, other patterns that it's time to say good bye to. Here I am, ending not just 'another relationship', but chapters of my life. Maybe turning this into a pattern breaking (r)evolution. Who knows?
So... my love, I'm renewing my wishes to you. Have amazing times, dance with what life offers you, love whole heartily, allow the blessings to flow to you, and be in that space of your heart where deep silence is and you can find God. As He is a good fellow :)
Thank you for everything that was possible through this meeting. Thank you and good bye!
Love,
Ram
I knew the ending time will come, I'm in peace with it. My heart is now holding the space for the sadness of loss, the gratefulness for so many beautiful things that happened, the joy of this woman who flowered.
There's something precious in these moments of letting go. Not clinging to the story, but witnessing what happens inside, I've come to see that I'm not saying good bye only to you, my love. It is also time to let go these two roles that I played as a woman until now, mostly without being aware of them.
Scheherazade, the woman who used her wisdom for 1001 nights, motivating the Shah to let her alive. Your story fed on my own love for story telling, for metaphors and tales. Thank you, dear Scheherazade, for awakening these gifts in me.
As for having a man deciding for my life, I leave this to you. It is your own story and I'm stepping out of it. I've learned that I'm a free human being and there's no need anymore to give my power to someone else. It took me more than 1001 nights to empower myself as a woman, so thank you for this important lesson.
Thank you talented, mysterious Scheherazade. Thank you and good bye!
Yashodhara, the woman who devoted her life to the man she loved, Prince Siddhartha, and who actively supported him in his quest for buddhahood. Even after Prince Siddhartha had to go, leaving her and their life together, to become Buddha.
No wonder I was supporting the men I loved until feeling like a squeezed orange. No more 'mystery' here about my good friendships once the love relationship is over.
But you know, my dear Yashodhara, you said it yourself in the end of your life... 'I am my own refuge.'
I honor your life, your devotion, your compassion and your love. I'm letting go to the 'beautiful wise loving woman who always understands and supports her man, who quietly accepts her suffering when the man has to leave her and who has to be supportive even after relationship is over'. It took me some years to be ready to renounce this role.
Thank you devoted, wise Yashodhara. Thank you and good bye!
Maybe it's the spring cleansing. Maybe it's my birthday getting quite close and the need to create fresh space for a re-birth. Maybe it's about humble honoring everything that brought me here and every one who traveled with me so far. Maybe it's one of those moments of 'What do I want to keep? What do I want to let go?' Or maybe is that my whole being is shifting along with this change, sign that the lesson is being indeed learned.
For sure, saying good bye to you as a lover brought at surface other things, other aspects, other patterns that it's time to say good bye to. Here I am, ending not just 'another relationship', but chapters of my life. Maybe turning this into a pattern breaking (r)evolution. Who knows?
So... my love, I'm renewing my wishes to you. Have amazing times, dance with what life offers you, love whole heartily, allow the blessings to flow to you, and be in that space of your heart where deep silence is and you can find God. As He is a good fellow :)
Thank you for everything that was possible through this meeting. Thank you and good bye!
Love,
Ram
Monday, 22 March 2010
Moment by moment
Today I was out in the park with the roller-blades. It was so soo good! Whenever I do this, I am in the present moment. It happens naturally. My body knows already that otherwise it hits the ground. Literally. So it is a very good exercise to be present. And here I am, smoothly rolling, when I notice that all the chattering that was there in my mind since waking up suddenly disappears. It makes no sense anymore. What am I complaining about, after all?
I connected again with my dear dear trees from the park. Last fall I watched them searing and losing their leafs, I watched them serenely letting a part of them to dye. I watched them giving up of what could not be alive for them anymore. And I heard no tree, not even one, complaining or crying or asking shouting to God But WHY?? In their silence, they allowed the nature to flow, to keep on going, to do its meaning.
And now I'm watching them again. Same trees as last year. Same silence. Same acceptance. This time, accepting life again, accepting the new, the fresh. Without complaining that it hurts them when the buds are sprouting. Or that is so hard to start all over again, and again, and again. Without saying that they better don't turn green, if anyway, when the fall comes, they will lose again what it grew out of their sap. Silently, life just goes on running through them.
And yet, from this silence there is so much wisdom springing. It is so that I'm connecting again with the silence within my being, with that source of wisdom where the 'famous' But WHY?? doesn't exist. I'm connecting with the green inside me, eager to sprout out into being, with life and with what I can create, with my roots on the ground and my crown towards the sky.
In this moment, if I stay in this Now moment, there's nothing missing from my life. In this Now moment there are only potentialities for how I can manifest, there are answers to the question What is possible for me Now? No trace of whining for what it would have been possible, if and only if... I know, it's a paradox, cause the mind comes in and slaps to my face all the bills to be paid. But it's not about this, it's about an inner state, about that State in which everything is possible, in which people make miracles with them selves and around them.
It was so good to let myself spoilt by the sun!
Moment by moment. This is the lesson I'm learning now.
Love,
Moment cu moment
Azi m-am dat cu rolele. Tare tare bine a mai fost. Când mă dau cu rolele sunt în prezent. Se întâmplă natural. Corpul ştie că altfel dă cu fundul de pământ. La propriu. Aşa că este un exerciţiu bun pentru mine ca să fiu în prezent. Şi alunecând eu aşa lin pe role, am observat că toată vorbăreala din mintea mea dintr-o dată dispare. Nu mai are niciun rost. Care e motivul pentru care să mă plâng, până la urmă?
M-am conectat iar cu dragii mei copaci din parc. Toamna trecută i-am văzut cum se usucă şi-şi pierd frunzele, i-am văzut cum lasă senini ca o parte din ei să moară. I-am văzut cum renunţă la ce nu mai poate fi viu pentru ei. N-am auzit niciunul plângâdu-se ori văicărindu-se ori întrebând urlând din toţi rărunchii Da' DE CE?? În tăcerea lor acolo, au lăsat natura să curgă, să meargă mai departe, să-şi facă treaba.
Şi mă uit la ei acum. Aceeaşi copaci de anul trecut. Aceeaşi tăcere. Aceeaşi acceptare. De data asta, acceptă viaţa iar, acceptă noul, acceptă proaspătul. Fără să se plângă că doare când mugurii pleznesc. Ori că e greu să o ia, iar şi iar, de la început. Că mai bine nu mai înverzesc, dacă la toamnă o să piardă iar ce-au lăsat să crească din seva lor. În tăcere, viaţa curge în continuare prin ei.
Şi totuşi, din tăcerea asta a lor curge atâta înţelepciune. Şi uite aşa mă conectez iar cu tăcerea din mine, cu sursa aceea de înţelepciune unde Da' DE CEul nu există. Mă conectez cu verdele ce stă să pleznească din mine întru fiinţare, cu viaţa şi cu ceea ce pot să creez, cu rădăcinile în pământ şi cu coroana către cer.
În momentul ăsta, dacă rămân în momentul ăsta de Acum, nu lipseşte nimic din viaţa mea. În momentul ăsta Acum, sunt doar potenţialităţi pentru cum mă pot manifesta, sunt răspunsuri la întrebarea Ce este posibil pentru mine Acum? Nici urmă de plângăreli pentru ce ar fi fost posibil, dacă şi numai dacă... Ştiu, e paradoxal, că vine mintea şi-mi trânteşte-n faţă facturile de plătit. Dar e vorba despre o stare în interior, despre Starea aceea în care orice este posibil, în care oamenii fac minuni cu ei, în ei, în jurul lor.
Ce bine a fost să mă las răsfăţată de soare!
Moment cu moment. Asta-i lecţia de o-nvăţ acum.
Din inimă,
Ram
I connected again with my dear dear trees from the park. Last fall I watched them searing and losing their leafs, I watched them serenely letting a part of them to dye. I watched them giving up of what could not be alive for them anymore. And I heard no tree, not even one, complaining or crying or asking shouting to God But WHY?? In their silence, they allowed the nature to flow, to keep on going, to do its meaning.
And now I'm watching them again. Same trees as last year. Same silence. Same acceptance. This time, accepting life again, accepting the new, the fresh. Without complaining that it hurts them when the buds are sprouting. Or that is so hard to start all over again, and again, and again. Without saying that they better don't turn green, if anyway, when the fall comes, they will lose again what it grew out of their sap. Silently, life just goes on running through them.
And yet, from this silence there is so much wisdom springing. It is so that I'm connecting again with the silence within my being, with that source of wisdom where the 'famous' But WHY?? doesn't exist. I'm connecting with the green inside me, eager to sprout out into being, with life and with what I can create, with my roots on the ground and my crown towards the sky.
In this moment, if I stay in this Now moment, there's nothing missing from my life. In this Now moment there are only potentialities for how I can manifest, there are answers to the question What is possible for me Now? No trace of whining for what it would have been possible, if and only if... I know, it's a paradox, cause the mind comes in and slaps to my face all the bills to be paid. But it's not about this, it's about an inner state, about that State in which everything is possible, in which people make miracles with them selves and around them.
It was so good to let myself spoilt by the sun!
Moment by moment. This is the lesson I'm learning now.
Love,
Ram
Moment cu moment
Azi m-am dat cu rolele. Tare tare bine a mai fost. Când mă dau cu rolele sunt în prezent. Se întâmplă natural. Corpul ştie că altfel dă cu fundul de pământ. La propriu. Aşa că este un exerciţiu bun pentru mine ca să fiu în prezent. Şi alunecând eu aşa lin pe role, am observat că toată vorbăreala din mintea mea dintr-o dată dispare. Nu mai are niciun rost. Care e motivul pentru care să mă plâng, până la urmă?
M-am conectat iar cu dragii mei copaci din parc. Toamna trecută i-am văzut cum se usucă şi-şi pierd frunzele, i-am văzut cum lasă senini ca o parte din ei să moară. I-am văzut cum renunţă la ce nu mai poate fi viu pentru ei. N-am auzit niciunul plângâdu-se ori văicărindu-se ori întrebând urlând din toţi rărunchii Da' DE CE?? În tăcerea lor acolo, au lăsat natura să curgă, să meargă mai departe, să-şi facă treaba.
Şi mă uit la ei acum. Aceeaşi copaci de anul trecut. Aceeaşi tăcere. Aceeaşi acceptare. De data asta, acceptă viaţa iar, acceptă noul, acceptă proaspătul. Fără să se plângă că doare când mugurii pleznesc. Ori că e greu să o ia, iar şi iar, de la început. Că mai bine nu mai înverzesc, dacă la toamnă o să piardă iar ce-au lăsat să crească din seva lor. În tăcere, viaţa curge în continuare prin ei.
Şi totuşi, din tăcerea asta a lor curge atâta înţelepciune. Şi uite aşa mă conectez iar cu tăcerea din mine, cu sursa aceea de înţelepciune unde Da' DE CEul nu există. Mă conectez cu verdele ce stă să pleznească din mine întru fiinţare, cu viaţa şi cu ceea ce pot să creez, cu rădăcinile în pământ şi cu coroana către cer.
În momentul ăsta, dacă rămân în momentul ăsta de Acum, nu lipseşte nimic din viaţa mea. În momentul ăsta Acum, sunt doar potenţialităţi pentru cum mă pot manifesta, sunt răspunsuri la întrebarea Ce este posibil pentru mine Acum? Nici urmă de plângăreli pentru ce ar fi fost posibil, dacă şi numai dacă... Ştiu, e paradoxal, că vine mintea şi-mi trânteşte-n faţă facturile de plătit. Dar e vorba despre o stare în interior, despre Starea aceea în care orice este posibil, în care oamenii fac minuni cu ei, în ei, în jurul lor.
Ce bine a fost să mă las răsfăţată de soare!
Moment cu moment. Asta-i lecţia de o-nvăţ acum.
Din inimă,
Ram
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