The gifts of dating

Being in a relationship used to mean for me that I have to do something, to give some input/effort to make it work.

Until I felt it's time to change this way of relating and I said 'Let's date. No more relationship. For me, now it's time to date.'

So I am. Dating that is. And here's what I'm practicing since 6 months of dating:

being in the moment
breathing (like a lot of it, deep and conscious)
keeping awareness alive
loving and flowering
womanness
being alert and relaxed in the same time
softness and gentleness
always coming back to myself
going deeper into myself
having fun and adventure
saying Yes
love and freedom
being crazy and centered in the same time (that's kind of acrobacy)
remaining present, knowing that is nothing but a dream of monkeys
listening
being generous and happy instead of being right (Iihuu!)
giving and receiving (with emphasis on receiving, cause that was almost impossible for me)
smiling instead of advising (coming from a 'save the world' woman... that's big)
futureless love (this is a new concept)
being cool with coming contradictions (beginner's level, cause I still need to understand... for few minutes, and then I let it be)
allowing
taking it nice and easy
seeing things with new and new eyes (which causes spontaneous laughing, 'out of the blue')

As long as I learn and grow from this dating experience, I guess it's a good one for me. It took away the heaviness of a 'serious relationship' and it brought me lightness, unpredictable, relaxation and authenticity in ongoing relating.

Does this means love is not here? Not at all, my dear, not at all...

Love,
Ram

I choose Love

More and more often I choose to love. Where other times I would have judged, I would have commented, I would have raised my eyebrow in a question mark, now I choose to love.

Instead of seeing defects in other people, I choose to love them. Instead of blaming, I choose to love.

Instead of giving advices to friends, I choose to love them. I know now they don’t need advices. They’re doing just great :)

Yesterday I received an email that in my past would have been a reason for me to find at least one thousand different ways in which I would have proceeded and, of course, one thousand of critics. Instead of that, I chose to love. And to laugh. Pealing. With tears of laughter. I laughed with someone else and I laughed all by myself. Better said, it was not me who started to laugh, it was laughter that started me. And it kept me for a few hours. I know now it wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn't for love. Without love, it wouldn’t have been possible to not judge, to not criticize. I instantly chose to love, as if other choice didn’t even exist.

And this was possible because, one day, a while ago, when I was in the middle of one of my biggest lost from this life, I chose to love myself. I chose Love.

And, ever since, it's like a play: when I choose Love, Love chooses me back. Every time. With no exceptions.

Love,
Ram

Aleg Iubirea

Din ce in ce mai des aleg sa iubesc. Acolo unde alta data as fi judecat, as fi comentat, as fi ridicat din spranceana intrebator, acum aleg sa iubesc.

Pe acei oameni carora le-as fi vazut defecte, acum aleg sa ii iubesc. In loc sa impart vinovatii, aleg sa iubesc.

Aleg sa iubesc prietenii aflati in situatii in care as fi dat sfaturi. Stiu acum ca n-au nevoie de sfaturi. Se descurca ei de minune :)

Ieri am primit un mesaj al carui continut m-ar fi aruncat alta data in a gasi cel putin o mie de moduri diferite in care eu as fi facut si cel putin o mie de critici. Am ales in schimb sa iubesc. Si sa rad. In hohote. Cu lacrimi. Am ras impreuna cu, am ras si singura. Cateva ore. Practic, nu eu am inceput sa rad, mai degraba rasul m-a inceput pe mine si m-a cuprins cu o pofta nebuna. Stiu acum ca nu ar fi fost posibil, fara sa iubesc. Fara sa iubesc, nu ar fi fost posibil sa nu judec, sa nu critic. Am ales instantaneu sa iubesc, ca si cand alta alegere nici macar nu ar fi existat.

Iar asta a fost posibil pentru ca, la un moment dat, traind una din cele mai mari pierderi din viata asta, am ales sa ma iubesc. Am ales Iubirea.

Si, de atunci, e ca un joc: cand eu aleg Iubirea, Iubirea ma alege inapoi. De fiecare data. Fara exceptie.

Din inima,
Ram

As it is

Your eyes have met my eyes
Now they can't see otherwise

I've learned to be a woman
Now I can't be otherwise

I've opened this heart and let love in
Now it can't feel otherwise

My heart has touched your heart
Now they can't live otherwise

Everything is as it is
As now it can't be otherwise.

Love,
Ram